"I now have another forum in which to stalk you. Wa, ha, ha! I LOVE being queen of the universe! And I love
this site! I am in the midst of all sorts of homework and I came here to chill for a minute." (--The Queen of the Universe)
"Now I see why you never have time for your counterpoint assignments." (--Erica's Composition Professor)
"Great stuff! I especially loved the 'sweet little girl' observation. I'm a piano major (although I'm not
vicious), and I've definitely seen a few skirmishes. One note--you forgot to mention the 2nd floor West piano practice
rooms which are LOCKED but somehow not immune from violence between pianists. Go figure." (--A Fellow Cakeman)
"Toilet ghosts huh? You'd think that with all of the bathrooms scenes I have been privy to (ha, ha pun intended!), I
would have experienced a toilet ghost before you, but alas I must not have the gift! Lucky for you. . .or rather, unlucky!"
(--A Non-Poltergeist)
"That was hilarious! I will remember this to teach the future generations. I will print it out and every third Sunday
when the moon is full, my children will gather around my knees and I will share with them this sage advice! Brilliant!"
(--A Future Self-Righteous Grandma)
"WAHOO!! I came to leave comments when, to my delight, there were two more articles waiting for me! That is
so crazy what happened to your skirt! The whole thing seriously sounds like it came out of a comedy." (--A Shameless
Flatterer)
"Hey, Erica!
This is normally the time I would be chatting your ear off (your fingers off on MSN?)
and I was trying to think of what I could do tonight. The following is the converstion I had with myself about this:
'Erica has a super-crazy-stressful-insane-packed-to-the-brim-no-time-allowed-to-think-sleep-eat-or-brush/floss-teeth-week
coming up. Hmm. She is so busy she can't chat tonight, so I won't get to give her a pep talk. Hmm. I know! I'll
e-mail her! But I don't exactly know what she has going on, so how can I give her a pep talk? Think, think. Well,
I've known Erica for a long time, so I could probably guess pretty accurately what her week will be like. Okay! I will
just give her a pep talk on what she is probably going to be doing! Sounds like a plan!'
Okay, now that you've witnessed the random musings of my mind, I will commence giving my pep talk
for your upcoming week:
For the 14 piano performances: Always remember to exercise your fingers, lest cramping should occur.
On the way to these concerts, DO NOT wear a skirt and ride your bike as the consequences could be dire! If you must,
always act in accordance with the 'dictates of your conscience' and chance the consequences!
For the 17 voice performances: In order to keep your voice in tiptop shape, avoid all communication,
except for phrases like 'no hablo ingles,' 'I haven't showered for a month,' 'My toothbrush has been lost since
the Clinton administration,' and 'I recently contracted the bird flu.' These phrases should keep conversations
to a minimum, which will protect your voice and will also assist in getting rid certain unwanted stalkers.
For the 25 finals (this week? next week?):
Theory Finals- Remember, when you have to name every theory theorum in
the entire musical spectrum, that you KNOW this stuff! Just think- if I can survive like 6 years of piano and still
not know what an interval is to save my life, with all of your experience, you could WRITE the theory test! You could
take it blindfolded (although your handwriting might suffer just a bit with that!).
World Music Final- Is this a presentation? Well, you are going
to be a world traveler here in a few months, so just climb in your time machine, skip forward to when you are jaunting around
Europe, learn all there is to know about the music, and then come back and give your presentation. No problem!
Composition Finals- When they give you 10 minutes to compose a 20
minute song, just remember that you've been there, done that. Remember 'True, Blue, Texan?' You wrote that thing so fast.
This should be a piece of cake!
All Other Finals- NO MATH! That is definitely something
to make life happier!
Hmm. . .what else do you have going on this week?
Attending other peoples' concerts- Bring a handkerchief so when they hit the wrong notes, you can pretend
to have a coughing fit to cover up your laughter! (JUST KIDDING!!!! I know these are ASU music majors, which means they aren't
mortal, which means they don't hit wrong notes!)
For the 8 Juries- Remember to breathe! When playing the piano, if one does not breathe, it causes a
loss of circulation to the fingers, thus making it rather difficult to play! For the composition jury, remember the compliments
you have received by many about your works! Don't discredit yourself! You are so talented, and the people at ASU obviously
feel the same way because they selected you to have private lessons with that famous composer (who I can't remember his name.
Sorry!). And for the 6 vocalists you are accompanying for--these people are paying you, right? And they are the
ones being judged!
Getting rid of stalkers: See 'For the 17 voice performances' for the best phrases to use in this situation.
Other ideas: 1. Always wear good shoes, so that when you see him coming you, can dart around corners and not lose a shoe.
That would really make it hard for you to hide! 2. Buy camoflauge (I sure don't know how to spell that!) A nice orangey-pink
ensemble would help you blend in nicely with Planet Birthday Cake. 3. Hire a big, burly body guard to follow
you around and scare people away. 4. Start wearing a ring on your left ring finger and tell people you decided to marry that
missionary in Africa who proposed last year. 5. Buy a pitbull.
I hope you enjoyed that African drum concert tonight. Hey wait--is there something you haven't told me?
This whole summer England trip, is it really a facade? Are you really going to Africa to marry that missionary? Was tonight's
activity a way to help you get acclimated to the culture? Fess up girl!
May the power of the sisterhood of the cheese be with you.
One of your biggest fans,
Kati"
